Twin trouble
By Tom Mercer
Carbondale-ish
Alan Baxter was a confirmed bachelor. He lived on a quiet street in a quiet Midwestern town, and largely kept to himself. He did not belong to any clubs or organizations in town, and very few town residents even knew his name.
He led a quiet life, and his outings were mainly limited to the bank, the grocery store or the town’s only theater. Alan did, however, have one distinction that set him apart from most other people — he had a twin brother he had not seen in years. Although the brothers were identical in appearance, they could hardly have been more different in nature. As fate would have it, Alan would soon be reminded of their extreme differences.
It was a quiet Saturday afternoon when he heard someone knocking on his front door. Alan was somewhat startled as he rarely had any visitors. Nonetheless, he went to the front door and opened it, and to his complete amazement, there stood his twin brother, Robert, whom he had not seen in years.
Alan invited Robert in and they sat and talked into the late afternoon. It was only when the shadows of the trees in his yard lengthened that Alan realized that he would need to go to the grocery store to pick up food for their dinner. The grocery store was just around the corner from Alan’s house, so he excused himself and began his short walk to the store.
It wasn’t until he reached the door of the store that he realized that he had forgotten to bring his wallet and cell phone. So, Alan turned around and headed back to his house, and was utterly shocked to discover that his brother had locked him out of the house.
Alan knocked on the locked door, but there was no response. He looked in the front picture window, but Robert was nowhere to be seen. He went to the back door of his house but it was also locked.
He could only think of one option. He walked downtown to the police station and requested their help. The police asked to see his identification, but as Alan reached for his wallet, he remembered that he had left his house without it, which made the officer he was talking to suspicious. Still, the officer agreed to give Alan a ride back to the house in an attempt to resolve the problem.
They arrived at the house and pulled into the driveway. The officer instructed Alan to wait in the car while he confirmed that it was actually Alan’s home. He saw Robert answer the door and the two men talked for several minutes, then the officer returned to the squad car.
Alan asked if he could go into his house, but the officer said he could not allow it. Alan’s twin had explained to the officer that he was the owner of the house, and he had proved his identity by producing Alan’s identification cards and driver’s license.
The officer said, “Look. You two are clearly twins, but the gentleman in the house produced documentation that proves that he is the owner of the house and that he has been having trouble dealing with you — particularly in regard to you making repeated claims to his property. I don’t relish the prospect of getting involved in family disputes, so I am going to strongly recommend that you leave your brother alone and stop bothering him.”
Alan was speechless. He hadn’t seen this coming, and now he had no way of entering his own home — and because he had walked to the grocery store, he didn’t even have the keys to his own car.
That night he had his first experience sleeping in a homeless shelter.
Vespertilio
By John Neiley
Glenwood Springs
He hasn’t got one single feather
His wings are made of
soft leather
Like a miniature bear
He’s all covered with hair
He squeaks what he utters
Instead of flying he flutters
Like a leaf on the wind
He pivots and spins
So, let’s all tip our hats
To these fine acro-BATS
Cuz there ain’t nothing neater
Than this voracious eater
Who devours that pesky
mo-skeeter!