Tom Karrel wears a t-shirt that reads “I talk to strangers” as he welcomes a mixed-age group of expectant attendees to Carbondale’s very own bookstore, White River Books, for his final (for now) local iteration of “The Lost Art of Random Conversations” book tour and discussion series the evening of Sept. 17.
In an interview held a couple of days before that event, Tom reminisced about beginning in Carbondale with this evolving movement, which inspired the book, about four years ago. Through a mutual friend, he met his life partner, Taylor Freeman, during this period of inception.
Freeman, an entrepreneur and fine artist, had lived in the Roaring Fork Valley for 11 years, and decided to join Karrel in growing and bringing the movement to other places in the country. She was the catalyst for him to cement his dreams into reality by writing the book, aptly titled “The Lost Art of Random Conversations.”
“[It’s] a children’s book for adults; a playful guide that gives essential tools to go to a stranger and turn them into a friend or a meaningful connection,” Karrel said. “The book appeals to the people [who] enjoy deeper conversation and who get drained by simple or small talk. It shows how to get into a meaningful space with whom we are talking, a little bit more easily.”
Tom’s awareness of the powerful and deep effect that meaningful conversations have in one’s soul’s quest for belonging began in Uganda, where he lived for five years starting in 2017, while working with The Global Livingston Institute. He had studied engineering, public health and international development at Tulane University in New Orleans before that.
“Uganda definitely changed me. I can sum it up in one word … belonging,” Karrel said. “As humans, we all desire to be part of something bigger than ourselves, where people are looking out for us and we are for them.”
“Uganda’s values evolve around community and collaboration. There’s a higher need to work together for survival and wellbeing in their communities. People need each other more to survive, whereas in the U.S. people value individual achievement and a lifestyle where we don’t really need people to grow or to survive, and where it’s easier to live our lives in isolation,” he continued. “I kept thinking on how to bring the Uganda feel back to the U.S. back then.”
Born in 1994, and growing up in Westport, Connecticut, Tom remembers enjoying connecting and hanging out with friends as a kid, but it was also during his middle and high school years that he experienced social anxiety, often prompted by talking with adults he did not know and public speaking.
Lost to suicide during his college years, three of Karrel’s close friends also inspired the thread of the Lost Art of Random Conversations movement, woven from his own life experiences.
After making this full time job over the past couple of years, Karrel’s “impossible goal” is to get to every school in the U.S. over the next year and a half. His vision is to redevelop the natural way of interacting among teenagers, an intended antidote to the isolating effects of social media, the use of smartphones and artificial intelligence.
“I’d love to see a world where kids are talking to their elders,” Tom expressed.
Being back in the Valley after living on the road in an old airstream and spreading the movement around the U.S. since 2024, along with Freeman, a lot of nostalgia has filled Tom’s heart.
“Having been out of the Valley and coming back to feeling the support from the community has been very affirming,” he shared. “The community has been very welcoming and given us a lot of positive feedback … I’d like to thank the Roaring Fork Valley for showing up for events, putting wind on our sails and keeping LARC [The Lost Art of Random Conversations] moving forward. It has made us feel that it’s worth jumping into the unknown and that the world needs it.”
The movement still has a local and active chapter offered at the Carbondale Library, which Karrel started.
Karrel and Freeman will be moving to Santa Barbara, California, after wrapping up a couple more events around Colorado.
Randomconvo.com is the place to look for more information about LARC, buy the book, find an event nearby, subscribe to its newsletter and discover the four factors of how LARC is facilitated: Awareness, Action, Feedback and Change.