Ps&Qs: America needs a facial

Wow! 2020 has certainly been a memorable year. Challenging, to say the least. The last nine months have taken a toll on all of us and I think we could use a little TLC. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that America needs a facial. Trust me, I have had several facials over the years, and seeing as we’re a country that spends a fair amount of time in the sun, eating pre-packaged news and drinking too much drama, I’d say we are long overdue. You can see it in our tired, weary eyes and on our dull, desensitized complexion. Let’s treat ourselves to an age-defying treatment that will rejuvenate and hydrate this great country of ours.

The first step is to exfoliate. By bringing all the filth and toxins to the surface, we can get to work repairing the damage done by living in such a fat-cat oligarchy. Won’t it feel good to show a much cleaner and brighter face to the world? Exfoliation is an important part of the process, because it doesn’t matter how much moisturizer we slather on if we never clean out the pores — in much the same way progressive legislation can’t get through a dying and corrupt plutocracy. Once the fundamental inequities have been addressed, we can move forward to clear skin and individual liberty.

We must remember that it is important to take the time to pamper ourselves. What a difference can be made by simply relaxing in a space of low light, calming sounds, and warm, blasting steam. Depending on the esthetician’s skill, inner peace is as achievable as that inner glow that shines through after a facial. If you’ve never had one before, you have much to look forward to — years and years of voting for the lesser of two evils… I know, I know, it seems like we are fighting the inevitable; faces age, and yet campaign beauty slogans remain the same. But then, sometimes life will bring a surprise.

I’ve had facials since I was 18: indoors and out, consisting of myriad fruits and vegetables, with talented people from Northeastern Europe to Southwestern Mexico. I’ve even had a facial from a man, and it took less than half a minute for me to get over my erroneous bias that only women can expertly apply an apricot-sage mask. 

Once in the desert, as I settled back on the massage table, ready for blissful serenity, the esthetician interrupted my daydreams to inquire if I had a pacemaker. “I— uh, what?” I asked, thinking, “What kind of facial is this?” But I trusted in the process and ended up looking radiant in the dark desert night. Most importantly, I didn’t chicken out and get off the table. No one can help us if we don’t show up. In democracy and self-care, I’ve learned, results require effort.

This country hasn’t been to the spa for a long time, and it shows. A government by and for the people takes time and attention. Self-care is about more than just presenting a picture of our feet by the pool on social media. While I’m as guilty as the next high alpine sunbather, I realize we have to advocate for each other because if we let our ideals go, through neglect or absence, then it is on us when our country looks dilapidated and unloved. Today’s America looks haggard— and not in a good Merle kind of way.

This is what Merle had to say about Code Orange, “I think he’s dealing from a strange deck.”

Agreed. And it is time to re-shuffle. This November, at last, we can apply a layer of Vitamin C serum to strengthen and nourish, before an spf of at least 50 in order to protect us from the damaging rays of Crony Capitalism. And then the universal signal that our time is up, a dab of soothing balm to coat the lips. We can leave the darkness of the booth feeling relaxed and refreshed, ready to put our best face forward, knowing that we have done our best to preserve the skin of democracy.

*Please visit the sos.state.co.us website to confirm your voter registration before Oct. 26.