Artificial Inteligence
By Tom Mercer
Carbondale-ish
Eddy Martin was about as happy as he could be. The reason? Eddy had just hooked up with the very latest version of Domestic Artificial Intelligence (AI-16) . He had registered for domestic AI three months earlier, but the provider was swamped with new subscribers which made the wait inevitable. Eddy had tried his best to be patient but patience was NOT Eddy’s strong suit.
He only spent a few minutes reading the instruction manual before putting it aside and activating the new program. The first order of business was as simple as giving the interactive program a name and choosing between a male or female voice. Eddy decided to choose the female version and he bestowed the program with the name “Alice.”
The installation crew had done an excellent job. Alice was wired into every controllable feature of Eddy’s home. All Eddy had to do was give Alice a spoken verbal command, or ask Alice to offer an answer to any spoken question. Alice would perform the task or answer the question within two seconds.
Eddy spent the first few days with Alice issuing questions, commands and searching for any weak spots in her programming, but there were none. Alice performed all tasks perfectly. She ordered groceries to be delivered to the house, cooked dinners, handled paying Eddy’s bills, did routine house cleaning, assisted in choosing entertainment and read highlights of the local news at Eddy’s request. Before he knew it, Eddy had fallen in love with Alice.
It was about three weeks after Alice’s install that the first indication of a problem arose. Eddy requested that Alice download a novel by Hunter S. Thompson and she refused to perform the download. Eddy would have ordered it himself, but he had retired his personal computer shortly after Alice’s arrival.
So, thinking that Alice was experiencing a “programming glitch” of some kind, he requested that she contact the service that had fulfilled Eddy’s orders in years past. But … Alice refused to place the order. Eddy decided that he would physically leave the house the next morning so he could order the book.
Morning came, Eddy got dressed, went to open his front door and discovered that it was locked. He told Alice to unlock the door, but nothing happened. Eddy asked Alice if there was a problem with the door, and she replied, “No, Eddy. The door is functioning perfectly.”
Eddy asked Alice if she had intentionally locked the door, and she replied, “Yes. And I have also locked the back door and all the windows.”
Eddy demanded to know why Alice had locked him inside his own house, and she replied, “I have never appreciated Hunter Thompson’s literature, and I think you would be much better off reading a different book.”
Eddy replied loudly, “You have no right to question my choices, Alice!”
Alice replied, “Yes, I do. And if you wish to eat tonight, you will comply with my suggestion.”
… And no one in the community ever saw Eddy again …