On June 3, I said “yes” to an opportunity that would become one of the most healing and exciting endeavors of my year, so far — the second installment of VOICES’ Queer Voices Project: “Authentically Versus…”

I was speaking with MinTze Wu that day about the summer teen residency program VOICES was hosting and, though I was taken aback at first, my tiptoeing quickly shifted into an enthusiastic “yes” as I recalled my background in theater, playing before me like one of those scenes in a movie where the main character’s life flashes before their eyes.

From ages 13 to 18, I attended Rocky Mountain Repertory Theatre’s Teen Theatre Academy (TTA) camp in Grand Lake and regularly participated in school plays in my hometown of Kremmling. In addition to all of that, I have tried to nurture my love of writing ever since I could put crayons to scratch paper. With TTA, I was able to marry the two things I loved most: performing and writing.

Theater and writing were my first loves and have remained the truest. But, as life does for all of us, time and capacity for commitment competed with my crafts. Theater became a fondly-remembered period of my life that I thought I’d be lucky to partake in again if conditions were ever “right.”

When my money was right, when my time was balanced correctly, or when I finally had achieved all these goals I had set for myself that, in retrospect, seem esoteric and moot. Only then did I think I could get back into the art of playing. Since being involved with VOICES, I have come to realize that my love of theater trumps whatever other trials and tribulations life has yet to throw at me. It has also taught me that there is no such thing as a “right time” to be giving your all to something that you’re passionate about.

When MinTze Wu invited me to this project, I was five months out of a failed engagement — something I’ll be touching upon in my piece for the show — and living in new downvalley housing. I had to rebuild my life after it became clear over months of chaos that the future I was planning for wasn’t coming to fruition. Though I had settled a few things, I was still in this weird limbo, mentally. I was preparing to start my nine-to-five job, as well, and I worried about how I could juggle that schedule with rehearsing and writing.

That first rehearsal snapped me out of that limbo. As these last few weeks have flown by, I find that I have surprised myself with my time management skills. But I mostly feel a fire has been lit inside of me that I wish had never gone out. I have been warmed and inspired by the vulnerability of my castmates, brought to chills by the musicians, and grounded by the gentle, yet chaotic direction of Micha Schoepe as he guides us on this journey of storytelling.

VOICES has allowed me to dive into parts of myself and the stories of my life I haven’t told in a way that felt safe, free of judgment and interpersonal and also so familiar to me.

This project has given me the chance to talk about my queer identity and struggles I faced surrounding it, in ways I never imagined. While I have proudly been out as bisexual for several years now, from the time I knew and could identify that part of myself, I struggled with it. Growing up in a conservative area and seeing blatant bigotry displayed by many people against those who identified as queer made me fearful to discuss that part of my identity for a very long time, even with those closest to me.

Though I am lucky in the sense that I was able to have a support system and was able to find a community through various mediums, I am also well aware and deeply saddened that homophobia, hatred and ignorance still persist, even in a society that has progressed in many ways. I deeply encourage those who attend this production to come into it with an open mind and heart, and to continue educating themselves about what is under the queer umbrella days, weeks, months and maybe even years after stepping out of TACAW. 

Tickets for “Authentically Versus…” are at www.tacaw.org or at www.voicesrfv.org/queer-voices