A mother’s voice behind a little ‘blue heart’

This month of May still arrives tinted with the blue of April, a month dedicated to autism awareness. And in the midst of that transition, I would love to speak from a different place, not only as the mother of a little “blue heart,” but as the woman behind that diagnosis.

And I think May, Mother’s Month, is the perfect excuse for this heartfelt reflection.

Hello, my name is Valeria. I am a mother, a migrant and I hold a degree in business administration with more than 10 years of problem-solving experience. I am also a wife, a sister, a daughter and an aunt in a family full of good people … and with high levels of craziness, like all families who truly love each other.

But why am I telling you all this?

Because I am not only the mother of an autistic child. I am a mother filled with joy and gratitude for my son’s life.

With the arrival of a diagnosis also comes doubt and uncertainty. Your mind fills with questions. What is going to change in my life? Will I have to dedicate myself only to parenting? Will I have to put my dreams on hold and become a 24/7 mom with no room left to continue growing?

And, yes, it’s true that life pauses for a moment. Not because it ends, but because it forces you to look at everything differently: the information, the adjustments, the fears and the new beginnings. And in the middle of all of that, you also begin to question who you are as a mother, as a woman and as a human being.

But something else happens, too, something people do not always talk about. Little by little, you discover a version of yourself you did not know existed. A stronger, more sensitive version, more aware of the value of small achievements and of the things you once took for granted.

Today, five years after my little J’s diagnosis, I can say with certainty that this journey is not the same for every family. Just like the autism spectrum itself is not one single form but an infinite range of colors, motherhood within this world is just as diverse.

What I have learned is that I have grown. That building a tribe, building community and not being selfish with our experiences can make all the difference. When mothers support one another, the journey becomes a little more human, a little easier to carry.

And something important, too, is learning to let go of guilt. That silent guilt that sometimes appears without warning, making you question whether you are doing enough, whether you are moving fast enough, whether you are failing. Over time, you understand that you are doing the best you can with the greatest love you have.

My story is my own, and I know how it has been lived and how it has felt. There have been moments of uncertainty, of not knowing what comes next, of encountering people without empathy and of hearing phrases that hurt more than they seem: “Maybe you want him to be sick,” “He doesn’t even seem autistic,” “He looks so normal.”

Phrases that stay in your heart, and that over time you learn to dodge as if they were arrows.

Mothers know the pain of exclusion, the weight of misinformation disguised as opinion. And even so, we remain here, willing to inform, to explain and to share with those who truly want to understand.

Because not everyone knows what lies behind a meltdown, a silence or a different way of communicating. But we do.

So today, mother to mother, I invite you to do something simple but profound … Support yourself, embrace yourself. You deserve it. For everything you do, for everything you carry, even when no one sees it.

Because even though sometimes you may feel invisible, believe me, it shows.

And I also want to say something that is rarely said out loud: You are not alone. Even when it feels that way. There are other mothers walking this same path, learning, falling, getting back up and starting over again every single day.

And to all mothers, during this month of May, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day every day. Especially to those who raise their children through deep love, endless patience and the quiet strength of supporting their children through diagnoses that only the heart learns how to transform into growth.