Christianity has changed the lives of many people.
For me, this has been a fundamentally positive change that has transformed my life for the better.
Unfortunately, and undeniably for many others, the push for Christianity has also harmed, either through personal experiences or the treatment of others.
The shame I feel when I realize that the same belief that has given me so much joy has hurt others is immeasurable. For a long time, I couldn’t reason with this catch-22 and held the belief that so many other Christians today grasp onto: Those who have a distaste towards Christianity are simply just hateful.
However, through the experiences I have lived and the observance of those close to me, I have come to realize that this disdain many Christians feel comes down to a miscalculation, one often reached through an attempt to bring others to the religion.
Many Christians fear what challenges their beliefs.
Because the values of Christianity are so deeply important to so many, when they are tested the immediate reaction can be inspired by hate.
Hate is highly scrutinized in the bible. Even those who have never read the bible or practiced Christianity know the infamous verse of Matthew 22:39: “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”
One extremely popular and controversial example is homophobia. It’s hard to comprehend the egregious amount of homophobia in Christian circles today. Regardless of whether or not a Christian personally views homosexuality as un-Godly, it is hard to deny that it gets a lot more flak than other ways of being or actions that Christians view as sinful.
Homophobia creates an unbreakable cycle that runs rampant in churches and Christian communities.
A queer person may be shamed, ostracized or rejected when attempting to join a Christian space that has such hate-filled views. Then, that person most likely will not return to that space, feeling shunned. It’s likely that separation from the community will not end there, and they may feel a sense of contempt towards Christians.
Seeing people leave or separate themselves from the church hurts Christians. Some might focus their hurt outward onto the group that left the faith, creating more bitterness and anger. This will continue to fester and repeat once another person from the group joins and is treated the same way. The divide grows every time.
This same cycle can be observed in countless other spaces, including other religions and cultures. Regardless of the situation, it has a constant output of rejection, hurt and hate.
Many Christians are so passionate that what they believe is right that they find shame and humiliation are reasonable reactions.
It’s no surprise when someone doesn’t feel welcome in church that they will not want to come back. It may be hard for many Christians to come to terms with, but the only way to bring people into this faith is through kindness, a willingness to put aside differences to seek common ground and showing the love expected of every Christian.
There is no possible way to spread the ever-loving and forever forgiving love of Jesus if you yourself lack love towards others, even if they are different from you, even if they don’t share your belief and even if they don’t return the love you give.
The only way to demonstrate God’s love is through kindness, acceptance and tolerance, not hate.