“Amateur Eats” is The Sopris Sun’s new food review, written by Carbondale resident and eating enthusiast Jake Skardon and published on the third Thursday of each month.
RESTAURANT RATING:
Cuisine: Pizza and beer
Quality: (4/5)
Price: ~ $15
Carbondale: idyllic mountain town, dutiful fief in the kingdom of SkiCo, crimes reportedly few. However, police have been lax, to the point of conspiracy, in solving the case of the missing “affordable lunch.” My advice to any aspiring robbers would be to pose as a new food truck or boujee business casual restaurant with a craft, locally-sourced lunch menu. That way, you could bash my head with a hammer in broad daylight on Main Street, empty my pockets, and torture my social security number out of me; just leave me a $10 empanada or $19.99 burger (fries not included) and nobody would blink an eye.
Thankfully, we still have Peppino’s. Whether you love it, hate it or are indifferent, I know you eat there. A slice or two and a cheeky pint of lunch beer rarely runs over $15, plus quick service if you can avoid the high school lunch rush.
Peppino’s Pizza is so integrated in Carbondale life that a traditional review is pointless. Instead, on a quiet Saturday night, I rallied about a dozen hungry lads to help me rank every slice of pizza they had available. The criteria: how much I enjoyed each slice as it was given to me. While they did not have the largest selection when we stormed in, there were enough to satisfy the strict statistical standard The Sopris Sun demands. Here is my Peppino’s Power Ranking, highest to lowest:
1. Pepperoni: Perfectly crisp pepperonis, cheese was just the right amount of greasy, correct amount of tomato sauce. Peppino’s rarely messes up a pepperoni pie; tonight was no exception.
2. Cottage Cheese: A light oil base, with mozzarella, fluffy cottage cheese and a healthy amount of parsley. I assumed the cottage cheese would not fare well reheated, but I was wrong. Cheese lovers should check this out.
3. Buffalo Chicken: A heavily-
cheesed slice, so much that it was collapsing under its weight out of the oven. Sometimes, Peppino’s slices are so violently reheated that waiting for it to cool down is futile. With the help of a fork and knife, I was able to cut through the molten field of cheese. The chicken was juicy and soft, almost doubling as a sauce with spicy oils bleeding into the cheese. Each bite is rewarding, even if the pizza keeps falling apart. Highly recommended with a side of ranch.
4. Ska Brewing Co. Raspberry Blonde Ale: Served in the Peppino’s signature frosty 22-ounce mug. A nice crisp ale with a moderate fruit finish. Preferable to heavier beers when paired with pizza. Essential for cleansing the palate and maintaining appetite. Unsung hero of the night.
5. Mushroom & Garlic: I’m not the biggest fan of veggie slices. The minute the pizza gets cold, the toppings lose their flavor and start to dry. Reheating cold veggies is always a gamble. But the mushrooms still had some moisture in them and heated well, maintaining a good bite and earthy flavor, and the healthy amount of diced garlic and shredded basil made for a tasty slice. Would recommend that even picky eaters give this a try.
6. Deli Meat
Stromboli: A mini Italian sub rolled up into a crisp bite. Between the generous stack of meat and glob of melted mozz, this is a tasty bite, but high on the heartburn index. Most will find one to be enough, or get a few as a snack to share with a group.
7. Tomato with Oil Base: Tomatoes were dry and likely suffered from being reheated. What I feared from the Mushroom & Garlic was realized here. With the tomato being less flavorful, the ample amount of oregano was overwhelming. I can imagine this being delicious if it were a fresh slice, but that’s what we get for showing up an hour before close.
8. Sausage: Similar to Buffalo Chicken, it came out of the oven HOT. I had to finish a mug of ale before it was cool enough to eat. While Buff Chick worked out post-nuking, Sausage did not. The red sauce was watery and assisted the cheese in sliding off the crust. The bites of sausage were flavorful, and I suspect this slice would rank much higher in a temperature-controlled study.
9. Grandma Slice: I think this was the Grandma slice? Or maybe Margherita? It was the last slice of the night, and the ale was weighing heavily on my judgement. A robust amount of red sauce, plus fresh mozzarella, basil and crushed tomato galore; usually this would have been a favorite. However, it was stone cold by the time I got around to it. While no fault of the pizza, the crushed tomato was almost uncomfortably cold. A typical cheese or pepperoni slice is a great bite at room temperature, but this pizza needs to be eaten hot and fresh.
There were plenty of Peppino’s classics, as well as some unorthodox pizzas on the takeout menu, that were missing that night. It’s likely that another visit could lead to a serious shake up in the rankings. However, as is often said, judge a man not by the size of his tool box, but by how much of a tool he is. Peppino’s will give you what they have and you will eat it, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.